i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
