I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
