I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
