eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
