We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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