Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
