You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
