I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The uberlube is also flammable
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
