Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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