he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
