I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
