I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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