I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Sorry about my life...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
