Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
