i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
