How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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