I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
