I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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