I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
