# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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