filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
