i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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