was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
