It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
