i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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