I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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