Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
