Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
