Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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