went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
