wat bout pragnant strippers??
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
