you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
