I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
