dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
