There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
