too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
