i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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