Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
