To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
