So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
