two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
