Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
