just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This baby is an asshole
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
