Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
