So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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