So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
