Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
sex in a hospital.. check
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
