Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
