Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You may now shotgun with the bride
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
