i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
