ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
